karkatsaysfuck:

etceteraface:

rycbar123-4:

So it’s my birthday and I’m opening gifts. I open the wrapped box from my uncle.

image

I open the box, and find a $50 gift card, yes? But wait, there’s Styrofoam. There’s more.

image

Then I remove the Styrofoam…

image

The fuck?

image

A FUCKING LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS

mY UNCLE GOT ME A LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS

bEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER

he then later gave me the legs.image

LEGO LEGOLAS’ LEGO LEGS

Are you Luna Lovegood

Loony Luna Lovegood Lavishly Loving LEGO Legolas’s LEGO Legs

(Source: lolanimenerds, via deanssandwich)

4/9/2014 - Photo

rhapsody-tardisblue:

kanayas-quivering-member:


nerdocity:

I saw this on Facebook, though it was worth a share.
Dear chris,I came back from a hard walk down to the grass market to find that you had put cups of water all around my room, and writen on my door “revenge kenny” with tooth paste.This was a mild inconvenience.
So upon finding this we at 18/3 started plotting on how to return the favour. So i put it to you Chris.I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.As you can see from the following photo I have taken your door handle and the 4 screws to hold it ont the door.I have also taken all the cups of water from my room and placed them outside your room, following this I took the water which we used to clean the tooth paste off my door and filled some of the cups with it.In several of these cups are hidden the 4 screws.My game to you is you must drink EVERY cup of water/toothpaste to then find the 4 screws. You may be thinking you can just empty them out and find the screws that way rather than drinking them. However unless you actually drink them ALL, I will not give you the clue as to where your door handle is hidden.The choice is your Chris…Stay locked out.or drink it all.


HOLY SHIT IS THIS GUY ACTUALLY SATAN???

excellent.

rhapsody-tardisblue:

kanayas-quivering-member:

nerdocity:

I saw this on Facebook, though it was worth a share.

Dear chris,

I came back from a hard walk down to the grass market to find that you had put cups of water all around my room, and writen on my door “revenge kenny” with tooth paste.

This was a mild inconvenience.



So upon finding this we at 18/3 started plotting on how to return the favour. 
So i put it to you Chris.

I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.

As you can see from the following photo I have taken your door handle and the 4 screws to hold it ont the door.
I have also taken all the cups of water from my room and placed them outside your room, following this I took the water which we used to clean the tooth paste off my door and filled some of the cups with it.

In several of these cups are hidden the 4 screws.

My game to you is you must drink EVERY cup of water/toothpaste to then find the 4 screws. You may be thinking you can just empty them out and find the screws that way rather than drinking them. However unless you actually drink them ALL, I will not give you the clue as to where your door handle is hidden.

The choice is your Chris…

Stay locked out.

or drink it all.

HOLY SHIT IS THIS GUY ACTUALLY SATAN???

excellent.

(Source: doctorbatcakes, via deanssandwich)

4/9/2014 - Video

egobus:

image

me as a teacher tbh

(via deanssandwich)

4/9/2014 - Video

huffingtonpost:

Homeless shelter is transformed into 5-star restaurant, hot food and warm hearts all around.  See the full video here. 

(via deanssandwich)

4/9/2014 - Photo

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

(via the-blue-skye)

4/9/2014 - Photo

elzxey:

the-dan-under-the-phil:

ishipphanforeverwhynot:

i just

IS THIS REAL OH MY GOD ASHKLHDAAHFDV WH AT EVEN

I remember this, lmao

elzxey:

the-dan-under-the-phil:

ishipphanforeverwhynot:

i just

IS THIS REAL OH MY GOD ASHKLHDAAHFDV WH AT EVEN

I remember this, lmao

(via deanssandwich)

stability:

WHAT DO WE WANT

image

WHEN DO WE WANT THEM

image

(via deanssandwich)

4/9/2014 - Video

sam-wilson:

wintorsoldier asked: steve or bucky

(via smaugthegaydragon)

pemsylvania:

pemsylvania:

what do you call a zombie that runs really fast

a zoombie

(Source: pemsylvania, via deanssandwich)

lindsaylohoean:

how many calories do u burn by sliding down a wall crying

Not enough

(via deanssandwich)